Blog followers, you may have been wondering what’s going on with
the lack of activity at Castles of Tin. Indeed the blogosphere is studded
with blogs started fired with enthusiasm only to halt with some random post,
leaving you wondering why the blogger just walked away from it.
The truth
is, I’ve hit the wall. I’ve painted hardly anything for weeks, finished
some of the Deetail knights but couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to photograph
them. I haven’t looked at my blog nor anyone else's. In
hindsight, it wasn't a good sign when after designing and casting a nice 40mm French
infantry figure, I couldn’t summon the motivation to finish even a
battalion of them.
I look at the accumulated clutter of half-baked projects in
my hobby room, try not to look at unpainted piles of lead and plastic, games & rulebooks stashed here and there
in the closet or the garage, thinking of the money I’ve wasted over the
years. I
won’t say wasted the time because I enjoyed nearly all the painting.
Hence there is a legacy of a sorts, although an unfocused one.
The thought of trying to recoup years of hobby
indulgence in small transactions on eBay is nearly grounds for despair. One step at a time I know, but I just don't feel like dealing with it at the moment. Although I know that sooner or later I must. I'm resisting a nihilistic urge to hurl everything into the trash: simple and cathartic, but too wasteful and ultimately selfish to send things that others might enjoy to be bulldozed into landfill.
Where to from here ? I don’t know. I’m hoping
the recapture the muse sooner or later. For the time being, I’ve fallen back on
building some 1/32 race car models, still something to do with the hands and
relax the mind. Castles of Tin will resume at some point, although I can’t
really say when.
